Winter has descended its icy grip upon Munich and I am still waiting for summer to start. Should there not be at least one month with out rain? Honestly this is ridiculous. Everyone keeps telling me that I must be so excited to experience a real winter. I am not. In fact I have a robust fear of experiencing a real winter. Snow is great and all don’t get me wrong, I love to spend a day or week in Tahoe as much as the next Bay Arian (get it white people from the Bay Area) but to live in the cold permanently just sounds uncomfortable and annoying. If it gets much colder than it already is I probably will not survive. By Spring Shemale and I will be found frozen within a Natalie shaped ice block in some ditch. When they revive us-which they must because death interferes with my plan of Shemale and I living forever- a special chamber will have to be constructed for us because our fragile minds will not be able to fathom the changes in the world. This chamber will recreate our natural habitat by being completely 2007 oriented. Much like the room built for the Prehistoric Ice Man from that South Park episode.
When people find out that I do not anticipate a pleasant winter they generally fall back on autumn to cheer me up. The exchange generally goes something like this.
German: Fall is so beautiful here though
Natalie: It’s still a little cold for my taste
German: Yes but you get to watch the leaves change color
Natalie: We can watch that in California too, except from the comfort of our air conditioned family rooms within in our McMansion on the television. With the combination of the modern advances in plasma screens and HD-TV its pretty much like looking out of the window, except like you know . . . better.
German: (After the look of total disgust begins to subside) Oh my god, you did not just say that. What a disgusting American response. There is no way you can compare the real thing to that artificial experience.
Natalie: Oh my god, you did not just say that. What a pathetic German response. I was kidding.
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