“Frightened and Confused”

Winter has descended its icy grip upon Munich and I am still waiting for summer to start. Should there not be at least one month with out rain? Honestly this is ridiculous. Everyone keeps telling me that I must be so excited to experience a real winter. I am not. In fact I have a robust fear of experiencing a real winter. Snow is great and all don’t get me wrong, I love to spend a day or week in Tahoe as much as the next Bay Arian (get it white people from the Bay Area) but to live in the cold permanently just sounds uncomfortable and annoying. If it gets much colder than it already is I probably will not survive. By Spring Shemale and I will be found frozen within a Natalie shaped ice block in some ditch. When they revive us-which they must because death interferes with my plan of Shemale and I living forever- a special chamber will have to be constructed for us because our fragile minds will not be able to fathom the changes in the world. This chamber will recreate our natural habitat by being completely 2007 oriented. Much like the room built for the Prehistoric Ice Man from that South Park episode.

When people find out that I do not anticipate a pleasant winter they generally fall back on autumn to cheer me up. The exchange generally goes something like this.

German: Fall is so beautiful here though

Natalie: It’s still a little cold for my taste

German: Yes but you get to watch the leaves change color

Natalie: We can watch that in California too, except from the comfort of our air conditioned family rooms within in our McMansion on the television. With the combination of the modern advances in plasma screens and HD-TV its pretty much like looking out of the window, except like you know . . . better.

German: (After the look of total disgust begins to subside) Oh my god, you did not just say that. What a disgusting American response. There is no way you can compare the real thing to that artificial experience.

Natalie: Oh my god, you did not just say that. What a pathetic German response. I was kidding.

and yet they are still sexy

So these advertisements are all over Munich. I pass them every day on my way to work. In fact I first noticed one when I was walking with Vinzi. We were rushing past on our way to the u-bahn when I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. I instinctively said "Is that Snoop Dogg wearing fuc-reaking Lederhosen?" worst nanny ever!

It just seems so unnatural, yet so funny

Dont Hassel the Hoff

I was in the U-bahn last Thursday waiting for my train. There was some kind of problem with the tracks and the trains could not run, so as a result the platform is crowded with Germans and I am in a bad mood (I had already been waiting for twenty minutes). I decided to watch the info screen to pass the time. Then out of nowhere the greatest thing in the world happened; a news story about David Hasselhoff graced the screen. I immediately start laughing, I mean rolling on the ground gasping for breath laughing. Here is the best part; while I am making a total ass out of myself nobody turns around to look at me because they are so engrossed in the Hoff news. There is nothing more fabulous than German stereotypes coming to life right before you eyes. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if one of the stern looking German businessmen turned to me laughing on the floor and said "There is no laughing in Germany."

blogging makes me cool

Perhaps I am just a monogamist person by nature, but when I send out an email to multiple recipients I feel like I am cheating on my friends. I choose to blame this irrational emotion for my utter lack of communication with friends and family since I have moved to Germany (although we all know my profound laziness is the more likely culprit). As a result I have decided to join the ever growing population of people who feel what they have to say is of the utmost importance and join the blogging nation. What will follow is a collection of the random happenings of my life (shenatigans if you will), my deep thoughts (much in the style of Jack Handy), and references to all things hilarious (as determined by me). Of course my main goal of this blog is to keep Joanna amused during her bout of unemployment. With that said I humbly present to you Natalie starts a blog hilarity does not ensue (if you get the reference then you are cool and you can stay).

Hey Jo. So i am doing a blog now. . . enjoy.